Of New Years Resolutions & Valentine's Day

I refuse to make New Years Resolutions anymore. For me, they are an invitation to fail and I don't choose to invite failure into my life. (Disclaimer: I don't think Resolutions are bad for everyone, so go ahead and keep making yours!) In years past, I've happily committed my resolutions to paper, utterly determined that in the next 365 days, I am going to make these resolutions happen, gritted teeth notwithstanding. Never once do I look at these resolutions again to gauge how I'm doing. I don't suddenly blow the dust off the list in July and ask myself if I've succeeded.

Recently I unearthed an old journal that I used to write in as a teenager. I use the term "write" loosely, as I've never been much of a journaler, despite the fact the I love to write. There were a few scattered pages throughout the book with writing on them, mostly lists and such. But I came across a list of New Year's Resolutions, written in the early '90s, that stretched down the whole page. I apparently felt the need that year to make some serious changes in my life, although I can't really remember my life being all that bad. My list contained dozens of ideas of how I was going to improve my life that year. Eat better. Exercise more. Be nicer to people. Make more friends. Be more patient. The list goes on. All wonderful ideas, but I did I ever look back, even once, to see if I was accomplishing those things? Uh, no. Aren't goal supposed to be specific and measurable?

That may have been the last year I made New Years Resolutions, or at least ones that I bothered to write down. I've never been one to do these things just because everyone else is doing them. In fact, I'm much more likely not to do these things, because everyone else is doing them!

Which leads me to a couple of thoughts on Valentine's Day. I won't be asking for expensive jewelery or a dozen long-stemmed red roses or even a box of chocolates, and I likely won't be getting them either. Nor do I feel the need to inundate my kiddos with even more candy and chocolate than they'll already be getting. Am I sounding like a scrooge yet? I actually like the idea of giving (and receiving) unexpected gifts or cards. There is so much more meaning attached to something that is not expected or required.

Our love is not defined by the size of the gift I receive on Valentine's Day, but rather by expressions of love throughout the year. And there are many. So, honey, thanks for saving your money on over-priced roses which will just wilt anyway, and save it for something special some other time. I'm thinking tuition in a few months might be a good way to spend that money...

I can remember one Valentine's Day clearly - it was the first one while Stefan and I were dating. I didn't have a lot of experience with buying gifts for V Day, but I was pretty sure that was something you were supposed to do while dating. So off to the card store I went (at least I'd have a card if nothing else). While there I happened upon the shelf of stuffed animals, and at that moment, I somehow determined that one of these animals would make a perfect V Day gift for my boyfriend. I settled on a pale green stuffed frog with a pink mouth, hands and feet. Perfect. There were several sizes of the same frog, so, being the frugal girl I was, I bought neither the biggest nor smallest one. I'm quite sure it cost me $17, but I knew it would be money well spent.

I don't think I expected Stefan to jump up and down with excitement, or to conjure an emotional tear when I gave him his gift, and he didn't (although a little excitement might have been nice). I can't tell you what went through his head, but I remember thinking, when it was too late to retract the gift, that mayyyybe this was a bit of an unusual gift, and WHAT WAS I THINKING?!

Fast forward a few years -the frog is still with us, languishing in a box or cupboard somewhere, all but forgotten. We've just heartlessly taken away our two year old son's soother and he's not too happy. Somehow, we remember Daddy's frog, and well, the rest is history. Freddy the Frog remains the most precious and loved possession of our ten year old. He (the frog, not the boy) has been sown back together numerous times, and he's missing a little fur, but he's one of my best purchases ever - money well spent indeed!