I sit here in a daze, not sure how life just got turned so upside down. I'm supposed to be in BC right now, visiting family and friends, and most importantly, my Aunt Norma. But she passed away on Tuesday and I am left in shock.
Her cancer diagnosis came in the fall last year. One disadvantage of living so far away from family is feeling left out of the loop when it comes to family news. Aunt Norma did send out occasional emails to let a few people know what was happening, but she was never one to want to much attention focused on herself. So I truly had no idea of just how grave her situation was until just a few weeks ago.
I learned that the cancer had spread to her liver and bones. She was sick before her first treatment even began. The treatment itself just about killed her and she was in and out of the hospital a few times. I decided I wanted to go to BC to visit her, thinking perhaps she still had many months. We debated which month to go and decided I'd travel there on March 22nd. I got a phone call from an uncle on the 17th, suggesting that I might want to come sooner. I was stunned - how could she be this sick already?
From the time I talked to my uncle until I was on the airplane was about 4 hours. Thankfully we were able to change my flights (some penalty, of course) and there was lots of room on my flight, even though it was the end of spring break. I'm amazed how quickly things can happen when the situation calls for it.
I arrived at her hospital room, in the palliative care wing, early on Sunday afternoon. Despite how she was feeling, she seemed pleased to see me and managed a little smile - there was even a little sparkle in her eye, I'm sure. We spent the rest of the day with her and I was able to help her with her lunch and make her comfortable. We managed to have a nice conversation, although it was incredibly difficult for her.
I have lived with regret since my mom passed away many years ago. In my childlike naivete or ignorance, I didn't believe that my mom would die. And there are so many things I should have said to her that I didn't and then she was gone. I would give anything to have that chance again to talk to my mom.
Aunt Norma looked after our family after my mom was gone. With no children of her own, she doted on her nieces and nephews, and especially on my sister and me. She loved us and always made us feel special. And now I had a chance to say thank-you to her and I am so unendingly grateful that I won't have those regrets. I like to think she left earth knowing how loved and appreciated she was by so many people.
We rushed to the hospital on Monday morning with the news that she'd taken a turn for the worse. She never really woke up again. She was constantly surrounded by her family for two days and then when almost everyone had left on Tuesday, she quietly slipped away. No fanfare. Just peace. When she was ready to go. I've always thought her favourite season was spring, and she died on the first day of spring.
The number of people that filled her hospital room those last few days is amazing, but not surprising. She was such a calm and loving presence in the lives of so many and everyone wanted a chance to let her know how special she was.
Even though I didn't get to spend a lot of time with her in person over the last years, we emailed regularly and she always sent wonderful cards in the mail when there was a birthday. She loved to know what was happening in our lives.
I'm thankful that her suffering is over and that she's at peace, but I'm going to miss her terribly.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Gratitude
A few comments I've heard lately regarding my latest posts: things usually happen in 3s...hope this was #3! Also, my sister-in-law thinks I just may be making this stuff up! I wish I was making this stuff up, but I'm really not that creative or imaginative. Truth is stranger than fiction, right?
So. I guess this is #3, which puts the other stuff into serious perspective.
Yesterday after supper, I sent the younger two kids out to play. It was about 14 degrees outside - beautiful late winter weather. Our house is just off a street that is a closed circle (the one we used to live on), with very little traffic. The kids are free to run, bike or scooter around the block. We regularly go over safety rules and they are pretty careful to abide by them.
They'd already been outside for about half an hour when they came back. I said they could go around the block a few more times. Logan left the scooter behind and ran behind Taya on her bike. Less than 10 minutes later, Logan was back in the house, saying, "Mommy. You have to come. The tire on Taya's bike is all bent."
So I followed him down the street while he explained that Taya had bumped into a truck. I was puzzled when I found her on the sidewalk with her bike, alone. She was sobbing her poor little heart out, because her bike was wrecked. The front tire was completely bent, the pedals were stuck and the rest of the bike completely un-rideable. She showed me where her lip was bleeding, but otherwise, she seemed unhurt.
Apparently, while riding around the corner next to the sidewalk, a pick-up truck had come towards her. She must have panicked that the truck was too close, but she didn't want to hit the sidewalk and crash, and so she somehow bumped into the truck. I suppose that's a nice way of saying that she was hit by the truck. I have no earthly understanding how her bike is so seriously damaged, and she is so ok.
The kids told me that the man had gotten out of the truck and asked her if she was ok, to which she responded that she was. He asked her where she lived, she mentioned she was just on the next street, and then... that's it. He was gone by the time I got there minutes later. A grown man (grey hair and facial hair, perhaps in his 50s, according to the kids and driving a black pick-up truck - not someone we know from the neighborhood) drove his truck away from the scene where he just hit a 7 year old girl on her bike, leaving her alone while her little brother ran to get his mommy.
He didn't knock on a neighbor's door to ask for help. He didn't use his phone to call 911 or have Taya call me. He didn't wait for her little brother to return with his mom. He left. It was blatantly obvious that her bike was in no condition to be ridden, but he left. Can you understand this? Can you think of one possible reason why an adult, having just narrowly missed running over a girl and then wrecking her bike, would leave? I'm at a loss.
Taya was inconsolable as we carried her bike home. I promised her we'd either fix it or buy her a new one. At that point, I would have promised her a pony, anything. We checked out her lip, which was bleeding and fat, but otherwise ok. She said she'd had to spit some dirt out of her mouth, so she must have hit her mouth on the ground - she wasn't sure. She has no scrape marks on her face or hands, and I can only picture an angel cushioning her fall.
I phoned the police and soon we had a constable at our house, going over the whole situation. She was kind and helpful, but told us there really wasn't much we could do. She too was baffled that the man had left, but she went around the neighborhood afterwards, checking things out. Because the street is closed, there's very little traffic, and very little traffic that doesn't live on the street. However, we're not sure who this guy is or where he came from.
Once Taya settled down about her bike, both she and Logan told me and the officer as much as they could and I was amazed at how brave they both were. I was thankful that Logan had remained calm, so I didn't have to panic when I went to find her. I was so proud of him for helping his sister. Taya was very concerned about calling the police - she didn't want the man to get in trouble. She said, "But he didn't drive over my legs." Thank God for that.
We're trying to teach our kids to take responsibility for our actions, even when something bad happens accidentally. It's not easy, and it may cost us, but it's always the right thing to do. I have no desire to press charges on the truck driver, but I do hope that his conscience makes him do the right thing. He missed his first opportunity, but he can still do something about it.
Taya is anxious to get back on her bike. In fact, her daddy took her out this evening to pick out a new one, and I'm confident that she'll be zipping around the block as soon as she can. I am amazed at her ability to cope with what happened - it's us adults who become paralyzed with the fear of what could have been. I think of a few seconds or a few inches in a different direction, and a horribly different outcome.
I'm trying to stay brave and calm on the outside for the kids, but inside I'm still shaking. I am unendingly grateful that our sweet Taya is safe.
So. I guess this is #3, which puts the other stuff into serious perspective.
Yesterday after supper, I sent the younger two kids out to play. It was about 14 degrees outside - beautiful late winter weather. Our house is just off a street that is a closed circle (the one we used to live on), with very little traffic. The kids are free to run, bike or scooter around the block. We regularly go over safety rules and they are pretty careful to abide by them.
They'd already been outside for about half an hour when they came back. I said they could go around the block a few more times. Logan left the scooter behind and ran behind Taya on her bike. Less than 10 minutes later, Logan was back in the house, saying, "Mommy. You have to come. The tire on Taya's bike is all bent."
So I followed him down the street while he explained that Taya had bumped into a truck. I was puzzled when I found her on the sidewalk with her bike, alone. She was sobbing her poor little heart out, because her bike was wrecked. The front tire was completely bent, the pedals were stuck and the rest of the bike completely un-rideable. She showed me where her lip was bleeding, but otherwise, she seemed unhurt.
Apparently, while riding around the corner next to the sidewalk, a pick-up truck had come towards her. She must have panicked that the truck was too close, but she didn't want to hit the sidewalk and crash, and so she somehow bumped into the truck. I suppose that's a nice way of saying that she was hit by the truck. I have no earthly understanding how her bike is so seriously damaged, and she is so ok.
The kids told me that the man had gotten out of the truck and asked her if she was ok, to which she responded that she was. He asked her where she lived, she mentioned she was just on the next street, and then... that's it. He was gone by the time I got there minutes later. A grown man (grey hair and facial hair, perhaps in his 50s, according to the kids and driving a black pick-up truck - not someone we know from the neighborhood) drove his truck away from the scene where he just hit a 7 year old girl on her bike, leaving her alone while her little brother ran to get his mommy.
He didn't knock on a neighbor's door to ask for help. He didn't use his phone to call 911 or have Taya call me. He didn't wait for her little brother to return with his mom. He left. It was blatantly obvious that her bike was in no condition to be ridden, but he left. Can you understand this? Can you think of one possible reason why an adult, having just narrowly missed running over a girl and then wrecking her bike, would leave? I'm at a loss.
Taya was inconsolable as we carried her bike home. I promised her we'd either fix it or buy her a new one. At that point, I would have promised her a pony, anything. We checked out her lip, which was bleeding and fat, but otherwise ok. She said she'd had to spit some dirt out of her mouth, so she must have hit her mouth on the ground - she wasn't sure. She has no scrape marks on her face or hands, and I can only picture an angel cushioning her fall.
I phoned the police and soon we had a constable at our house, going over the whole situation. She was kind and helpful, but told us there really wasn't much we could do. She too was baffled that the man had left, but she went around the neighborhood afterwards, checking things out. Because the street is closed, there's very little traffic, and very little traffic that doesn't live on the street. However, we're not sure who this guy is or where he came from.
Once Taya settled down about her bike, both she and Logan told me and the officer as much as they could and I was amazed at how brave they both were. I was thankful that Logan had remained calm, so I didn't have to panic when I went to find her. I was so proud of him for helping his sister. Taya was very concerned about calling the police - she didn't want the man to get in trouble. She said, "But he didn't drive over my legs." Thank God for that.
We're trying to teach our kids to take responsibility for our actions, even when something bad happens accidentally. It's not easy, and it may cost us, but it's always the right thing to do. I have no desire to press charges on the truck driver, but I do hope that his conscience makes him do the right thing. He missed his first opportunity, but he can still do something about it.
Taya is anxious to get back on her bike. In fact, her daddy took her out this evening to pick out a new one, and I'm confident that she'll be zipping around the block as soon as she can. I am amazed at her ability to cope with what happened - it's us adults who become paralyzed with the fear of what could have been. I think of a few seconds or a few inches in a different direction, and a horribly different outcome.
I'm trying to stay brave and calm on the outside for the kids, but inside I'm still shaking. I am unendingly grateful that our sweet Taya is safe.
Monday, March 5, 2012
The Saga Ends, and then Continues...
On Saturday morning, we woke up ("waking" used loosely, as I'm not sure I was actually sleeping), looked out the window, and our fence was missing. Perhaps missing isn't quite accurate. One half of the fence was lying down on the sidewalk, and the other half was leaning on our grass, almost in the pool. There were numerous shingles strewn across the yard, front and back, and our bbq cover was swimming in the pool.
If you haven't already read my previous post, do so now, as it should give you some context. I was quite looking forward to Saturday morning. After a crazy week at our house, by 3pm on Friday, everything was just about back to normal. We had our beautiful new, scratch-free floor in place, all the cupboards and cabinets were back where they were supposed to be, and the house was clean and dust-free. Time to breathe a nice sigh of relief and relish in the fact that we could be a chaos-free zone again, relatively speaking of course.
And then, some crazy weather system moved into Burlington and area (likely the same system that was wreaking havoc in the form of tornadoes in the US) and howled so fiercely all night that it was next to impossible to sleep (except if you're one of my kids, who can sleep through just about anything). I lay in bed wondering how the roof wasn't blowing off the house (in fact, only parts of the roof were blowing off, but I didn't know that yet), but feeling so secure and cosy in my bed. The light of day revealed what had happened to our fence, and thus the fun began again, just different this time.
We're quite a sight to see in the neighborhood - cars slow down considerably as they go by, and many stop and gawk. Now everyone knows exactly what our yard looks like! Perhaps I should charge a small fee to stop and stare, with all proceeds going directly towards our fence-replacement project.
So, pretty soon we'll have not only a new floor, but also a new roof and a new fence. Exciting times. As my sister-in-law mentioned, it's almost like a movie script, although much more bizarre, I think.
On a completely different note, I just found out that I got accepted to school for September! I'm really excited and terrified. I'll be taking the Corporate Communications after-degree certificate at Sheridan College in Oakville. It'll be two semesters plus one internship of craziness, but I think I'm going to love being a student again.
Keeping my fingers crossed for calmer, less eventful days to come...
If you haven't already read my previous post, do so now, as it should give you some context. I was quite looking forward to Saturday morning. After a crazy week at our house, by 3pm on Friday, everything was just about back to normal. We had our beautiful new, scratch-free floor in place, all the cupboards and cabinets were back where they were supposed to be, and the house was clean and dust-free. Time to breathe a nice sigh of relief and relish in the fact that we could be a chaos-free zone again, relatively speaking of course.
And then, some crazy weather system moved into Burlington and area (likely the same system that was wreaking havoc in the form of tornadoes in the US) and howled so fiercely all night that it was next to impossible to sleep (except if you're one of my kids, who can sleep through just about anything). I lay in bed wondering how the roof wasn't blowing off the house (in fact, only parts of the roof were blowing off, but I didn't know that yet), but feeling so secure and cosy in my bed. The light of day revealed what had happened to our fence, and thus the fun began again, just different this time.
We're quite a sight to see in the neighborhood - cars slow down considerably as they go by, and many stop and gawk. Now everyone knows exactly what our yard looks like! Perhaps I should charge a small fee to stop and stare, with all proceeds going directly towards our fence-replacement project.
So, pretty soon we'll have not only a new floor, but also a new roof and a new fence. Exciting times. As my sister-in-law mentioned, it's almost like a movie script, although much more bizarre, I think.
On a completely different note, I just found out that I got accepted to school for September! I'm really excited and terrified. I'll be taking the Corporate Communications after-degree certificate at Sheridan College in Oakville. It'll be two semesters plus one internship of craziness, but I think I'm going to love being a student again.
Keeping my fingers crossed for calmer, less eventful days to come...
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